Dreams, Drinks, and Promises
by ellonen
Summary: Final Fantasy VII & Advent Children: Your past is lived. It is your present and your future you can save. CloudTifaReno. Rating goes up in chapter 6.
1. Haze

Written for the 9 themes challenge in the 3measures-community in LJ.

i. theme #1 "camera obscura"

A drinking night out in the town with Barret has gone long. Tifa sent Marlene back to the bar hours ago, with Denzel's protective hand in hers. Now her eyes are liquid and her smile comes easier, staying on longer, and her laugh tinkles in the hazy smokes of Sector 6.

"I should be working, y'know. I have my own place to run," she laughs, not quite convincing enough for Barret to let her go home. He orders another round of Wutai's specialty, deep red liquor that glows like materia, and burns its way down his throat.

"If I let ya go alone on a night like this, ya'll jus' start mopin' around again." Barret's words are not as cheery as they sound, and for a moment, Tifa feels the piercing pain of bad conscience for letting her friends worry about her. So she lets out another tingling laugh and tosses her hair over her shoulder, gulping down the drink he has bought her. Stars burst in her eyes and even though she is the drinking master of the slums, she has to show her respects to the liquor makers of Wutai.

"Some strong stuff, this..." she murmurs and inhales languidly. The lights have turned brighter and the noise more pleasant, and she is starting to enjoy herself (to forget why she is here, to not think of him for one night).

And then it happens.

"Can I join you guys?" The slow, familiar drawlmakes Tifa cock her eyebrows at him amusedly, as Barret growls behind her. Not waiting for a response, the newcomer takes the seat next to her and orders whatever it is they are having.

Seems like there is more than one misery drinker in Midgar today. Then again, you never know with Reno – he might have just not gotten laid tonight.

"Since when did you want to spend an evening in our company?" Tifa asks casually. She is not quite uttering out the fact that they have not met in a long time and are not exactly in what you would call friendly terms. Certainly, there have been life-savings and cooperation on both sides but that does not mean that grudges cannot be borne.

Ignoring the question – both the one voiced aloud and the one left in the shadow of the other – Reno sips the red drink, not yet as sloppily as Barret. "What's the occasion, then?" he asks and wonders at how her eyes glow and how her lips relax in a smile.

"Nothin'," Barret retorts angrily. Tifa does not quite know when the dislike has seeped into his voice. "We're jus' havin' some fun; ya have a problem with that?

Reno laughs in a way that makes Tifa think he is stupid, or just somewhat slow, even though he is all but that. "No no no, just asking. Don't get all pissed, will ya?" He scratches the back of his head and looks somewhat awkward. There is sadness in Tifa's eyes and anger in Barret's, and Reno does not really know why he is here.

For sure, the woman is pretty and nice to look at, but she also carries the something that only those withone-sided expectations carry. Disappointment and not-yet crushed beliefs dwell deep in her eyes, and he knows that he cannot carry the weight of the shadow behind her smile. Elena would tell him to do it – save her – and do it well, because she is a girl and girls think these things are easy. Rude would tell him to fuck her or not do anything at all, because women are too much of a hassle to deal with outside the bedroom.

So Reno downs a few more drinks and considers his possibilities, coming up with no sensible solution at all. Tifa takes his advances as what they are – playing, no more – and drinks no longer.

And when the morning arrives, they go home alone.


	2. Nighttime

ii. theme #2 "'in thunder, lightening, or in rain'"

Tifa is curled up in her bed, so empty nowadays, listening to the rain beating on the roof. Gusts of wind make the water spray on the window and the glass rattles loudly, accompanied by an occasional bolt of lightning streaking the sky white.

Her eyes rest silently, distantly, on the phone in her hand. A number is already dialed on the screen, but she cannot bring her thumb to press the green button yet – three more lightnings, and I'll do it, she keeps telling herself as the evening turns into night. The thunder goes on, the rain wetting the streets and making the homeless search for shelter.

She thinks he is in the church again. She had hoped he would be here with her, not there with the memories she cannot replace or ease.

One thing they have in common – they cannot save each other.

Finally, she presses the button, accidentally, when she is nearing the place between sleep and consciousness. Trees and leaves surround her, the faint sound of flowers draws tears into the corners of her eyes, and she can almost smell the nonexistent fragrance of someone whose hair is red. Surprised, she presses the phone on her ear and rather hopes that his is closed – it is not, of course, be it her luck or his need for friends.

"Hello?" Cloud's familiar voice says and words utterly fail Tifa. She swallows and gulps and chokes; she would like to say so much, so many things, make him come home and cry and beat him up, and offer him the small solace she can muster. "Hello?" he says again and Tifa closes her eyes to keep the tears from running down her cheeks.

Tifa hears his breathing and it is like he is here next to her again, not sleeping alone in the church with his nightmares and shadows and thoughts. In the end, she does not know whether it is he or she who closes the phone, and she finds herself more alone than ever before.

Thunder strikes again, painting the black sky brilliantly white, silencing Tifa's thoughts as she pulls the covers over her face, tasting the salt on her lips.


	3. Bridge

iii. theme #7 "middle finger salute"

The church needs repairing.

Of course it does, Reno thinks, as he walks in slowly through the broken-down main entrance, kicking aside small stones and planks of wood. The place smells of decay and flowers and something else he can not quite place – a presence long lost but never forgotten, the silent laughter ringing in the corners.

In the middle, there is a garden of yellow flowers that prosper in the misery of the slums. Reno haughtily thinks that the only resident of the place has certainly _not_ showed such inner strength but instead has bent under the weight he choseto carry on his shoulders. Such stubbornness, Reno snorts, but does not really know if it is good or bad.

Not his business, anyhow.

If it only weren't for her.

Her smiling face and sorrowful eyes and crushed hopes and heart, and every time he sees her he wants to kick Cloud in the groin and electrify him with his weapon. Helplessly he still knows that she would protect him from everyone and everything, even if it meant her death. Such stubbornness, Reno sighs, and knows it is insane.

"What are you doing here?" Cloud asks as Reno walks down the aisle between the old benches, the signs of fighting still visible on them and the walls. Cloud gets up warily, not knowing what to expect, because he has not bothered to take interest in anyone else's life since his is already miserable enough. The level of bitterness is high in Reno and he can hardly conceal a snarl – beating Cloud into a bloody pulp is the top priority in his mind.

"Are you an idiot or what?" Reno asks, not bothering to reply to the question. The answer is so fucking obvious to him. He does not hear what Cloud says or if he says anything at all when he pulls out his fighting rod and taps it to his shoulder.

"...What?" Cloud's voice betrays a hint of doubt andhe eyes Reno skeptically.

"I said, are you a fucking idiot or what," Reno repeats, not quite succeeding in concealing the dislike in his loud voice. Handling Cloud and his fucking materia-sized brain is becoming increasingly difficult. His patience is wearing down.

"What are you talking about?" Cloud asks, not bothering to take up his sword. He knows that Reno will most likely not attack, since they _both_ know that it is only the wisest thing to do in his situation.

Showing Cloud a very rude hand gesture, Reno charges at him, bringing his rod to his left shoulder and swinging it down hard on Cloud's face. He misses, of course, and is sent flying against the church's wall. As he stands up, wiping blood from his nose, he knows he is being stupid. But then again, so are all three of them, so he decides not to really care.

Charging again, he earns a few more punches and kicks,and he knows that Cloud is not taking him seriously and it only infuriates him more. Finally, Cloud has him pinned against the same wall where Tifa had practically flown during her fight, and Reno is not quite yet enough out-of-breath to be gasping, but Cloud's hands are certainly doing hell to his air supply.

"What do you want?" Cloud asks again, pressing his hands harder on his throat, feeling the pulse beneath his gloves.

And suddenly, Reno grabs a handful of Cloud's hair with his free hand and pulls his lips to his, not exactly in a kiss, but something more brutal and memorable. "That," Reno spits blood on his face, "is from someone who you're killing who's killing me."

Taking advantage of his surprise – the naïveté of the man, really! - Reno takes his leave, letting Cloud brood and wallow and change if he wants to.

He only wanted to get the gears moving again, is all.


	4. Soar

iv. theme #3 "depth perception"

In another life, where there is no Crisis of the Planet, where there is no Meteor, where Aeris does not die, where Cloud never names himself ex-SOLDIER...

In another life, where people fight for good and evil but have friends anyway, where decisions are made and destinies are sealed, where love, not power, is the force that enthralls everything...

In another life, where they do not have to save the planet, where they can carry their swords without regrets, where Cloud's eyes are not blue because of Mako...

In another life, where the name of Tifa's bar is not ironic, where she does not have to compete with memories and the past, where here knuckles are battered because of training, not war.

In another life, where Cloud can smile without sadness and laugh freely, where the shadow of Sephiroth has set him free, where he does not need a number, where he can save everyone he loves.

In another life, where the Turks still assassinate and kill and destroy, where Elena and Tseng do not have to hide their relationship, where Reno can say he likes Tifa without Rude laughing at his face (he chokes instead and can not laugh even if he wanted to).

In a life, where Cloud works as a mercenary and comes to Tifa every time he finishes a mission, tells her how he does not know how to feel about killing for money, how he can not get rid of the stench of blood, and how he is not jealous of Zack.

In a life, where Reno laughs mockingly and treats Rude carelessly ("Dammit, can you _stop_ breaking my glasses already!"), where he does not take his job seriously and lets Elena do it for him, where he meets Tifa in her bar.

In a life, where Tifa saves Cloud and now fights alongside him, where she works as a guide and a martial arts teacher, where she understands Cloud and his past, where Reno, to her, is attractive, yes, but arrogant and therefore unable to make her like him.

Where Cloud's kisses are hesitant and wary, where he does not quite know how to not hurt her.

Where Tifa finds herself, one day, in her bar alone with Reno, his hands gripping the front of her shirt to keep her still as his lips are pressed firmly on hers.

Where Cloud walks in and understands that his darkness may be too much for her and that she needs some light, too, and embraces her as she splutters and coughs and stares at Reno, her red eyes wide with surprise.

Where Reno and Cloud look hard at each other and promise silently not to make life difficult, where they might never like each other, but share one thing in common, nevertheless.

Where Tifa finds it easier to keep saving Cloud if she herself gets saved once in a while, too, even if the saving is not done in the way she does it.

Where Tifa looks at Cloud as they sleep, his arm on her waist, Reno breathing in her neck as he rests his hand on her thigh, where they have somehow found an unlikely but pleasant way of coexisting and life has indeed not become difficult.

There, Reno lets the other two take care of the emotionality. He enjoys their company, sure, but that does not mean that he would willingly let them peer into his personal life – no, he has Rude for that.

There, Cloud tells Tifa how beautiful she is, how lovely she is, where he whispers to her that she is everything he needs.

There, Tifa closes her eyes but still knows which hand is whose, and supports Cloud and his disasters and does not pry into Reno's life, but understands that all relationships do not need saving.

There, they reach a higher level of depth and learn how to fly.


	5. Soft

v. theme #5 "poison ivy"

The night is dark and humid, the greyness of the slums intensifying as the weather worsens. Cloud enters the Seventh Heaven with set but truthfully uncertain steps and does not know what to think of Tifa's form sprawled across the counter, a half-drunk glass of something turquoise next to her hand.

The pub smells – it did not some time ago. He is surprised to find how little things have changed since he last visited; the tables sport the same marks of weariness they used to,and Cloud idly wonders if Tifa is actually doing her job. Feeling a stab of bad conscience, he looks at her as though she would guess what he is thinking of, mentally preparing himself to dodge a punch.

He sighs and removes the glass from her hand, placing it in the sink. Cloud allows himself a moment's luxury and trails his fingers on her hand, feeling the calluses there. When one is saving a world, one certainly does not think of one's looks, does one, Cloud muses, hating each and every one of her scars, even the ones taken because of him.

He carries her to her bedroom, a small place above her pub, the place she calls home.

Settling her on the bed, Cloud tries to remember why he came – tries not to not stay up all night looking at her sleeping figure. Her breathing is deep and her eyes move behind her eyelids and Cloud hopes she can still have happy dreams.

"...d..." she murmurs groggily and opens her eyes. She stares for a moment, realizes he is holding her hand, blinks slowly and stares again. "...Cloud?" her voice shakes and they both know it is not the alcohol in it.

He is like from another world and only the painful throb in her head reveals to her that she is not dreaming. "I can't... stay long." Cloud's voice comes with difficulty, as if he has not been using it in a long time. He does not look at her and removes his hand from hers silently.

"Why not?" Tifa chokes – this is the moment she has dreamed of and his words are like poison to her. Agonizingly beautiful, these flakes of snow, grains of sand, shards of glass she tries to hold in her hands slip away, leaving behind bloody trails as he gets up and starts to make his leave.

"Because I have lost."


	6. Quiet

vi. theme #6 "the sphinx's riddle"

a.

"Let me go."

"I won't let you drown."

"Let me carry this alone."

"I won't let you bury yourself beneath the weight."

"I can't share it with you."

"Share it with me."

"I'll hurt you."

"The memories you bear will hurt you, not me."

"You don't know what it is you're asking of me."

"It is you I'm asking, nothing more. And you, I know."

"I can't give it to you."

"You are free to give yourself to anyone who so desires."

"You don't know who, or what, I am."

"I know enough to protect you."

"I can't protect you."

"You have, and you will."

"I can't save anyone."

"Your past is lived. It is your present and your future you can save."

"I can't save anyone."

"You've already saved me. Let me save you now in return."

b.

"What'd he say, then?" Reno asks her as she pours him another glass of the green liquor he prefers. The bar is empty and Tifa is already closing up, but has found herself talking to this arrogant, silly man with red hair and identical scars on his face (done intentionally, she snorts, and wipes clean another glass).

"That's a secret." She tries to smile and fails, her brown hair obscuring her face from Reno.

"Oh-h? Playing hard to get?" Reno drinks for her health and bangs the glass noisily on the counter.

"Indeed," Tifa murmurs and a ghost of a smile touches her facade. The subject is uncomfortable and she does not know which bothers her more: his eyes that are gleaming brighter by the minute in the foggy light of the pub, or the way he sneaks up on her from behind.

Company is not something she has missed. No, she has friends aplenty, plus work and training to keep her busy, to ensure she has as little time as possible to spend thinking of him.

If, then, company is not something she has missed, she wonders, why does she not do anything at all as Reno places his fingers under her chin, making her look at him, and moves his hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her down into a hard kiss. His lips are cold but soft and his stubble teases her skin, and she can not decide whether she likes it or not. When his tongue crushes against hers, she tastes the alcohol in his mouth and pulls away – even here, even now, she needs to do these things seriously.

But Reno does not stop. He looks at her and the message is clear: you need to get laid.

Tifa almost laughs at the stupidity of the statement but does not remove his hands from where they are grasping the front of her shirt.

She does nothing at all and after a moment, Reno pulls her down to him again touching the corner of her mouth with his lips. When she still does not respond, he trails lower and the alcohol makes him sloppy, but that is perhaps why Tifa likes it. She suddenly gasps for air as he bites her skin, in a way that is so far from the man she is not supposed to be thinking about.

In a second, Reno lets go and rounds the counter that is standing between them. His unsteady feet find their place on the floor as he grabs her into another ferocious kiss. Drowning her memories, he understands that Cloud's darkness is too much for her to bear and that she needs some light, too.

Tifa says nothing. She is not thinking of hands that were gentler and warier than Reno's, of lips that were warm and soft and sorrowful, respecting, if hating, every single one of her flaws except those taken on his behalf. She is not thinking of how he would have _never_ taken her on the counter of the Seventh Heaven, would never have done anything unless she made the initiative.

Her breath comes in ragged gasps as Reno slips a hand under her shirt, sliding his fingers on her stomach, up to her chest, roughly kneading her breast. She inhales sharply as he removes her shirt and then his own, pressing their bodies together. Tifa can not bring herself to not sink her nails into his back and Reno lets out a slow breath he does not know he has been holding.

Maybe, in the morning, she will think this was a bad idea. But now, it is enough to enjoy whatever it is he is doing with his fingers, to wrap her legs around his waist and pull him _closer_, closer than anyone has been in a long time.

Now, she does not feel vulnerable or weak. She feels that she is somewhere, though maybe not in the place she belongs to, but this shore is enough to save her from drowning.


End file.
